


We Blessed the Rains Together

by Under_The_Table



Series: Taegi Bedtime Stories [1]
Category: Firewatch (Video Game), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Fluff, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Inspired by Firewatch (Video Game), Lots of dialogues, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 08:59:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17281073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Under_The_Table/pseuds/Under_The_Table
Summary: Taehyung take a job as a fire lookout in the Wyoming wilderness. He's supposed to keep the wilderness safe and prevent fire by looking out for smoke.Yoongi is there for him at all times over a small, handheld radio— the only contact he has in those woods.But the summer is rainy, humid and longer than you would think. The two are both alone, but at the same time, together.Or, to put it in a single quote"Summertime is always the best of what might be." - Charles Bowden.





	We Blessed the Rains Together

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo, there!
> 
> I've wanted to write something about my favorite ship for a long time and there it is! You know, I've been obsessed with the game Firewatch for a *loooooooong* time now and with Taegi for even longer, so I thought
> 
> ''Why not put those two obssession together and write something with that?''
> 
> Anyway! I hope you'll enjoy this long/short story and if you liked it, don't be shy and leave a kudo/comment - ♥

[DAY 00,020616, 09:19PM-MYG]  
I'm walking back to my tower now. I arrived only yesterday and I already have to deal with campers who don't know how to read the rules while camping.It was a lovely couple, really, and they swore they didn't know that they couldn't start fire anywhere else than in the places designated by the rangers. I just gave them a freaking warning and went hiking around my sector, to see if I had anything to do.

I'm lucky I love my job. Fuck the idiots.

Every rangers, lookout and all that fucking jazz kept calling me for minor incidents. It was enjoyable in a way, but also kinda annoying. I spent nine months in the city, bombarded by stimulations and stress and I only needed everyone and the forest to just leave me alone a bit.

Guess my rest wouldn't come in a few days, because the summer season is just starting. Be positive, Min Yoongi, at least, now you're back at Thorofare, right?

I just sat down at my desk for what seems to be an hour, but ,really, from what I see on the clock, it was only 10 minutes.

Suddendly, I see the Two Forks Tower light up and it wakes me up from this strange trance. I sight and pick up my headphone and adjust my microphone. The new LO's.

From what I saw in his folder, he is a twenty years old boy named Kim Taehyung. He does not have any health problems nor any experiences as a national park employees. Rookies like him are either a lot of fun or a stinging pain in the ass. They can be cheerful, enthusiastic and really professional or they can be fucking angsty, depressed, awkward and paranoiac. I really hope he is the first type or it's going to be a long ass summer.

-Good evening, Two Forks Tower.

Nobody answers. It's fine, he's probably really tired from that hike. A fucking two-days hike. I'm lucky I can get to near my tower by Jeep.

\- Two Forks, this is Thorofare, c'mon in.

I heard a slight click on the line and someone breathing. I heard that sounds like that are trending on youtube. Something like. ASM or ASR, I don't know. I like it though, lucky it's a part of my job.

''Yeah, hello, it's Yoongi right?''

I chuckle, at least the rookie got the pronunciation of my name right. Probably because his name is korean too. At least, I believe it's korean.

But, jeez, this guys have a deep velvety voice and really, it shouldn't be legal. Protect the poor gay heart over here, man. How in the world can he sound so manly?

It's really unfair.

'Uh... Am I right or...?

Shit!I left him hanging!

-Yup, sorry, and you're Taehyung if I'm not wrong?

''You are correct!''

\- Nice, then! Listen, you're probably really tired from that hike, so I will let you sleep. Just call me when you wake up and I can tell you more about the job.

''Thanks, good night!''

''Good night, Taehyung.''

I don't know if it's my instinct or my queer thinking, but I think this guy is already pretty neat.

[DAY 01,030616, 09:07AM -KTH]  
I wake up as a ray of sun strikes my face. I yawns loudly and ruffle my hair. Everything is so quiet, out of the big cities, just in the middle of the forest.

I firstly take my polaroid and take a selca photo. It develops nicely. Half of my face is blurried by the sun, my hair are all over the place and my eyes are drooping, but it's a nice picture. Kinda ethereal. I take one of my marker and write behind.

TH, first day in the Shoshone <3

That Yoongi guy said I could call him when I wake up, but I take my time to get dressed, clean my face and eat a little. I got some granola bars, eggs and bread.

I've brought some warm clothes like a puncho, woolen socks and beanies. I also got typical summer clothes like shorts, flannels, and tank tops. Today, the sky is a gorgeous blue, with cumulonimbus far to the the east side of my tower. The forest is green, smells nice and bushy.

It's nothing like the stagnant air of Clearlake, or the cheap and stinky appartment my mom and step-dad used to live in. It's different from the top of our residence roof that Namjoonie and I loved so much.

I think I already like it way better

\- Hey, Yoongi? It's Taehyung! I'm up so if you still want to explain the job to me... I'm ready!

For what feels like really long, nobody answers and I start to think that maybe Yoongi hadn't heard me or I didn't use the radio correctly, but then, Yongi's gravely voice comes out of the radio

''Sorry, I'm here! You caught me off-guard, you must be the first lookout I've met who doesn't sleep for 20 hours after that hike, kid.''

I giggle in the radio and thanks him. I berate myself, because giggling is a bad habit of mine and it makes me look and sound like a freaking baby.

''Okay! You see that round thing in the middle of your tower?''

\- Yep, I see it.

“That is the Osborne Fire Finder, invented by a guy named W.B…”

\- Oh, let me guess! Osborne?

''Yup! You are correct! The Osborne Fire Finder is used to find fires. I mean, could have they make it even more obvious?''

\- I'm sure they tried really hard!

Yoongi chuckled.

''Maybe. Anyway, the Fire Finder is composed of a topographic map of the area oriented and centered on a horizontal table with a circular rim graduated in degrees and some fractions shit. Two sighting apertures are mounted above the map on opposite sides of the ring and slide around the arc.''

''The device is used by moving the sights until the observer can peek through the nearer sighting hole and view the cross hairs in the further sight aligned with the fire. Your job is to note the degrees on the graduated ring beneath the sight. Early Fire Finders were capable of a crude estimate of elevation based upon the level and elevation of the table, calculating distance and rough position of the fire by reference to any distinctive terrain features and by use of the scale shown on the map. You got it, Taehyung?''

\- Yeah... Uh, that sounds as complicated as I thought it would, but it's okay.

''Your job is to basically to watch out for fire hazards and maintain the conditions and requirements stated on the safety permit that you have in our towers. You can hike a lot and patrol too if you want. I'm more the one who stays in my tower all day long and communicates with peoples. So, since I'm your supervisor, I give you the tasks.''

\- Oh, and uh... Do you have a task for me? Right now?

''You should propably unpack your stuff. Take it chill for now and if something's up, I'll call you. You can also get familiar with your area and hike for a bit if you want.''

\- Are you serious? I can just go and hike around like that?

I heard a chuckle again and really, I like the sound and wouldn't mind hearing it all summer.

''Yeah! You sound like I just proposed to you, everything's alright?''

I blushed. Of course, that guy had picked up on my excitement.

-Uh, yeah? I adore hiking and you just told me I'm able to get lost in the forest and that it's basically my job until we find ! Sorry if it's weird...

''It's okay, I've seen or heard worst. The last guy at you tower used to have this low-key of obssession with Forrest Byrnes? You might actually find one of its sign around. Just... Warning you so you won't get the creeps when finding it.''

-Roger that!

I think it is going to be a really great summer. I can feel it.

[DAY02,040616, 02:34PM - KTH]  
I'm hanging photos around my tower. I took a few yesterday. The Jonesy lake with pollen floating around, Two Forks, the Thorofare Station by the sunset...

''Hey, Taehyung, you there!?

Yoongi sounds a little alert and I immediately picks up the radio.

''I'm here, what's up?''

''I saw the flash of a blinker near your lookout, could you check that out? It's on the west side of your tower.''

I turn to take a look and... Yeah, there's a big red light floating in the air and then detonnating. I worry about the people there. I mean, those are only used when someone is in danger, and... I don't know.

\- Yeah, I see it too. You want me to go take a look at it, right? I'm on my way.''

I walk down the stairs quickly, backpack on my shoulder and radio in my hand. I know I have a first aid kit and some ropes in case I got to climb up or down any cliffs or rocks.

As I walk down the north-west trail, Yoongi seems to sight of relief

'' Please do. Call me if anything, even if it does not seems important because... Well, I had some rangers in the past who I wasn't communicating well with and bad things happened to them so. Just, talk to me and don't be afraid to annoy me or whatshit.''

\- I gotcha. How long have you been a fire watcher? Sounds like you had been for a while now...

''Huh... Well. It's been like 3 or 4 years that I actually work here, but when I was young, my dad worked here as a ranger. He used to take me and my brother with him for like... A month or so. Lots of fun.''

-That sounds so sweet! I never got to spend times in the woods like that, except when I was in the cadets... But, y'know, it's not the same.

''The cadets, uh? Isn't like... Scout boys?''

\- You are putting shame on my uniform by saying those words, Yoongi, I do not appreciate it.

A chuckle and I was left with silence. Yoongi seems to be a good guy and I feel like I can trust him. It's fitting, I think, that he has to communicate with everyone. He sounds like a good leader or something like that.

''Where are you going, right now? Jonesy Lake?''

-Yeah, I'm following the trace of that blinker.

I arrive at a small cliff and climb down. I arrive at some kind of clearing and I can see the remaining smoke of the blinker. It actually looks pretty near the camping space of Jonesy Lake.

As I approach, I find a bunch of drunk guys who are looking obnoxiously and talking loudly.

I freeze for a second. I can see from here all the packs of beer and my heart quickens in an unpleasant way. At hearing their wicked laugh, I can feel my blood leaving my face anxiously.

I call Yoongi to report it.

\- Yoongi?

''Yeah?''

\- It's a bunch of drunk guys, what do I do?

''Shit. Hum, most of the time they're not easy to deal with...Well, try to see if anyone's injured and if you can and give them a warning.''

-Yoongi, I'm not... Really good at dealing with drunk people.

I beat myself up for stuttering. Great, already my second day of work and I show my weak side to my supervisor...

''I'm sure you'll be fine. Call me if you need.''

His voice is reassuring, though.

\- Okay...

''You can do it.''

Me who thought I would not have to deal with people like that once I got the job here... Guess I was wrong! I approach and decides to take it easy. Some drunks are kinda cool, right? They are five of them, most look like forest-douche. You know, like the weird uncle everyone have who just spends too much time in their cabin, smells like motor oil and tells racist jokes at christmas party?

Yeah, well I get them at a AA reunion right here.

Freaking hell.

-Good afternoon, gentleman! How are you doing?

One of them whines from behind the tree logs, two of them keeps drinking and the others two actually pay attention to me for a second, but none of them answers.

\- I am Taehyung Kim, one of Shoshone's park lookout. I saw the blinker you fired earlier and came to check on you!

One of them, the one who looks the bulkiest looks at me, confused. I didn't speak korean, right?

\- The Blinker?

I restrain myself from rolling my eyes.

\- No, it's... A rocket you fires when you are alone and you get in trouble, like if you fall down a crevasse or if you face a grizzli. None of you is hurt, right?

They all laugh like I told them a great joke. It makes shiver crawls on my skin. It's the same freaking laugh that he had.

-Aah, so that's what they are! Joel lit one up 'cause he thought they was fireworks! Man, we told you it was a stupid idea!

-Yeah, but at least, I got us a cute ranger to come at our rescue! Am I right , Sweetie?

The guy with a sicko cap grabs my arm and gives me a toothless smile. Heck no. I gotta freaking get away from them.

\- Well, since everything's seems alright for you guys... I'm going to leave you, but no more blinkers!

The guy looks at me weirdly but let me go with a laugh. I hold the urge to puke at his gross actions and just go back on my steps. I wait until I climb my way back on the trail and roll up my rope in my backpack. Just... Making sure those guys won't go after me or whatever.

'' Taehyung? You good, there?''

Yoongi sounds genuiely concerned and it makes me feel a bit better. At least, I'm not completely alone in all of this.

''Taehyung, I'm serious, I knew you didn't wanted to deal with this shit but...''

I interrupt him.

\- I'm okay, don't worry. Those idiots thought that blinkers were fireworks and they were really, like really, drunk.

'' They didn't do anything innapropriate, right?''

I think about the sicko cap's guy and sake the memory away.

\- Nothing I couldn't handle. Don't worry, it wasn't a good experience, but I mean... Gotta do what I have to do!

''You are... Optimistic. I like that.''

I smiled as I throw my backpack on my mattress. Yoongi is cute.

''And you are caring. I like that.''

[DAY04,060616, 05:09PM - MYG]  
It is a beautiful day. Of course it is humid, it's really sunny and the air feels like water and you can feel a little bit like drowning because there is no wind, but it's great. Those kind of days are calm, quie and just... Nice. I love to write when the weather is like that.

Jungkook always asks me in his letters if I would use those in my next mixtape. I'm not sure. At this point, I don't think I'll ever come back on the music scene. Or to a normal life. My little brother seems to believe there's still hope for a sad sack like me, but eh.

Jungkook always wonder if I'll ever stop avoiding him, but I know he already knows the answer. I only need time to stop feeling so fucking guilty. That thing scarred me to life probably.

This makes me think about Taehyung, the new guy. He had seems very nervous about those drunk douches and even if he said he was fine, I think it wasn't. People who takes the job as a LO are broken in some kind of way. They just want to be left alone, do their shit and still feel useful.

''Yoongi, do you know who Brian Goodwin is?''

I'm startled by his voice. It's always so beautiful, his voice is the one you could hear in a jazz concert or late at night in quiet pubs.

-Brian Goodwin? Yeah, tragic story. He was a kid who died in the 80's. His dad was a lookout, actually located in your area, who thought it was a good idea to bring his kid. This ol' man was kinda crazy, PTSD type of crazy, and when Brian died of a climbing accident, he went even more nut.

''What happened?''

\- Oh, I don't know the full story but from what I heard, the guy isolated himself in the woods, became a true hermit and had token pleasure in spying to other'S lookout and rangers conversation by radios.

''Yikes... It's super spooky. I wouldn't even know how to do that kind of thing.''

\- Yeah, but don't worry, the police found him. A lookout, Henry or something like that, reported him in 1989. He and his supervisor had found out about all the spying and... He had found the body of Brian in the cave 452 and I guess he just couldn't live with it anymore.

''Jeez... What a story. I actually found the kid's hide-out and thought I could ask but, man... That's dark!''

I laugh a bit at that. That kid is great: he is curious, optimistic and responsable. I can already say that I will enjoy my summer with him. For an unknown reason, I feel the urge to tell him more stories that goes alongside with the last one.

-I don't know, there's like this legend that the Two Forks area is cursed... For example, the lookout never stays a whole summer...

I said it darkly, but I'm just messing with the guy. I'm not really superstitious, but I guess his reactions will entertain me.

''Well, you know what they said? The fear of the name increase the power of the thingie or whatever!''

I smile, but I'm confuse. Did he just attempted to quote Harry Potter?

\- What's your point?

''I say, eff it. I mean, I'm not a big fan of Two Forks anyway so... If there's a curse on the name of my area, I just gotta change it! Makes sense, right?''

Funny logic, but maybe it does make sense.

\- What do you want to name your area,then?

''Really? You don't think it's weird?''

I roll my eyes.

\- Nah, I myself call my tower the Genius Lab so... Go ahead!

''I was thinking of Single Spoon?''

I burst out laughing. That's... Great.

''You okay, Yoongi?''

\- Yeah, you are just really funny...

''Oh, uh, well.... Thank you?''

I chuckle and go back to my writing. A few minutes later, Taehyung calls again.

''Uh,Yoongi?''

-Yeah?

''You know how you tell me to clean the forest or whatever? I just found some freaking condoms... It's really gross, ew... How can people just... Left those behind?''

I chuckled. He must be in that old house that is half-destroyed. Most teenagers find that spot ''adequate'' to have sex or get shitfaced. I don't like going in those places, it gives me the creeps and just ... No. I am not going to clean the mess of those kind of kids.

-You're in the old house, yeah? I would avoid going there, it's the place for teenager to hook up and... Yeah, cleansing those are fucking gross. Take my advice and stay away from those places, they're kinda creepy don't you think?

''I was just...Curious? And then there's dozens cans of cheap beers, condoms everywhere and it smells like freaking weed.''

You know, I believe that Taehyung's swearing is cute. Even though I like to swear, I think it's really admirable that people try their not to.

He continues.

''Worst decision of my life.''

-Really? Sounds like you haven't made a lot of bad decision in your life...

''I don't know man, I stabbed a man once.''

I burst out laughing again.

[DAY07,130616, 04:49PM- KTH]  
I was walking around five mile creek. It had only been a week that I'm around here and I enjoy it very much. I think I've almost hike around the whole area of Two Forks... or more like Single Spoon. Yoongi seems to enjoy very much those weird and random thoughts I get sometimes.

It's raining. I know that hiking when it's raining is really dangerous and Yoongi told me so, but I just can't seem to stay in my tower during the day. I've taken so many pictures in the last week and I feel light-hearted. However, now, the rain makes it really lonely and just melancholic.

The idea of staying inside when it's raining sounds poetic, doesn't it? Well, I think it's sad. It forces me to be with my thoughts and pay attention to them, which I don't want to do. I think it's too soon for that.

By being in the moon like that, I bump onto something and fall on the ground. I get up, smirring my pants and hands with some mud. I look at what made me fell and my heart break a little.

It's a coyote. I know it's not a wolf because a coyote has a narrow snout and small nose pad, with large ears relative to its head size. A wolf has a broad snout and large nose pad, with small ears relative to its head size. I mean, maybe it's a wolf pup, but we mostly see those around mid-summer to fall.

So the coyote is dead, from the larvaes and flies that turn around its body.It makes me sad, Namjoon and I used to take care of stray pups back in California and coyotes are kinda sweet, I think. Animals are great in a general way and... I just don't like dead thing, okay?

A few tears stream down my face and I feel ridiculous. I shouldn't cry over dead animals like that. I'm a fire watcher lost in the middle of a nationnal park and I will encounter many animals that are hurt or dead.

I take my radio from my waist.

\- Hyung? I found some coyote that is... Uh, dead. What do I do?

There's a silence and then Yoongi's voice rise up.

''You called me what?''

Well, when I think of it, it's weird that I called him hyung. Damn it, I should have been more starightforward.

-Hyung? It's like... an older brother in korean? Sorry if it's weird, I just... Don't like dead things.

''Yeah, no, it's okay, I just... I like that. What about that coyote? Where did you find it?''

-I found it in the area of five mile creek. Not so far away from cache 309? Maybe report it to a ranger, because nosy campers could panick or something...

''I gotcha, Tae.''

I sight and start to leave slowly, not daring to look back at the animal.

\- Thanks, I wasn't expecting falling on a coyote today.

''You okay? What are you doing in Five Mile when it's raining?''

\- Just wanted to walk a little. Take pictures, discover new thing? That kinda stuff.

'' Well, I think you should back to your tower before the night falls. It's dangerous to hike when raining, but it's even worse when it's raining and dark.

\- Yeah, Imma do that. Thanks, hyung.

It's not weird anymore, right? To call him that?

''Take care, Tae and be careful, please.''

I walk back to my tower quickly, following Yoongi advice. Once I'm back inside, I call Yoongi to tell him about it, so he wouldn't worry.

''You don't like rain, do you? It's been 4 day that the weather isn't so good and you seems a little bit sad about it...''

-Nah, I really prefer when the sun is out. Kinda ironic for someone born in the middle of winter.

Yoongi hums as I sit on my desk's chair.

''I wrote some lyrics about the rain, a long time ago... Would you like to hear it?

-Really? Yeah, sounds nice!

''It's in Korean, though, so... Yeah I got it.''

I nod and feel silly, since Yoongi cannot see me.

''비가 오는 짙은 색 서울 그 위에  
달리는 차들,  
사방에 꿈틀대는 우산들  
날씨는 흐림 공기는 맑음 * ...''

Yoongi is singing slowly, with his kinda croaky voice and then, he starts to rap and my eyes slowly close, appreciating the ode to the rain Yoongi wrote.

[DAY20,030716, 11:55PM - MYG]  
I'm drunk. I know I shouldn't be, but it's July, the rain stopped two days ago and I feel warm and a bit sad, maybe. I feel lonely and I would love to be out in the bars, with all my friends and my little brother and just... Do something other than just being a sad sack.

I'm halfway through a bottle of Wyoming Whiskey Single Barrel. I took it from some teens who were lightning fireworks and smoking near the canyon.

I used to be like that, back in the day. Fearless, not regard to the rules, enjoying my youth when really, I was just in this whole angry spirals and wasting time on the wrong people and activities.

Another thing I shouldn't have done, but making the wrong decision seems to be a theme with me, but guess it's fucking okay!

I put on some Jay-Z in my stereo radio I brought from home and just enjoy the beat. Man, it's nice. What would be nicer, is to have Taehyung with me.

I've grown attached to the guy.He is maybe not the best lookout in the world, but I think I can consider him my friend in this place aside from the world.

-Hey, Tae, are you up?

I wait for like 2 minutes before he answers me. I can see that he has turned the light on in his tower.

''Hyung, it's almost midnight... What is going on?''

That's a thing. Since Taehyung had started calling me hyung, I feel all gigdy and warm. It makes me feel at home to hear some korean even though I know I am exactly where I need to be.

\- Tae, it's like... July 4th, we need to celebrate, we're americaaaans, man!

''Well, I don't wanna be an American idiot...''

I squint my eyes. Drunk Yoongi is always swinging between being confused,moody and sad or loud,talkative and light-hearted.

-Did you just quote Green Day to me or...?

Taehyung laugh. A nice sound.

''I guess I did! What's up?''

\- I'm drunk. Well, getting drunk... Y'know, Jungkook and I used to go in bars back in Washington, like, on the 4th of July and have some fried chicken and just spend time with our friends... Mess around in the parade, y'know. D'ya have some alcohol in your tower?

I rant alot. And I aks questions that I already know the answer. Taehyung had told me that two days ago, he had found some beers at the camp space and had bring it back to his tower.

''Hyung, we can't get drunk while on the job!''

He had whispered/shouted that sentence, as if we were two teenagers talking about smoking in the school's bathroom and that he was the good student who didn't wanted to get in trouble.

Shit, even my train of thought is ranting.

\- Huh... Well, fuck it!I won't tell anyone if my favorite dongsaeng drank with me!

''Shhhh, hyung, you can't just say that!'

 

[DAY21,040716, 12:01AM - MYG]  
\- Okay, fine...don't get drunk, then. You a good guy, Tae-ah.

There's a silence but then, I wonder about what Taehyung would have done on the 4th July in his hometown.

\- How would ya celebrate the Independance Day? Y'know, if you weren't here?

Taehyung sights. I can see that he's pacing around in his tower from here. The night is dark and the light from his tower makes me see his figure clearly.

''Probably would have gone out with Namjoon-hyung to have some korean BBQ or some sushis and... Probably just chill on the beach and talk for hours before watching the firewatch...''

My brain just shuts down at the name of Namjoon and I can't stop my words.

-Boyfriend?

I almost regrets my words, but Taehyung giggles. A sound that is really adorable and mostly a good sign. A sign that I didn't fucked up.

''Nah... I mean, I had a huge crush on the guy, but he got a girlfriend and.. They're really sweet together.''

\- Is that why you're here?

'' Maybe... I don't know. What about you? Did you came here because of an unrequited love? A tragic breakup?''

I squint again and, frankly, I feel comfortable telling Taehyung why I'm here. He is not like the other lookout or whatever. He is sweet, caring and genuiely curious.

\- Nah, I'm a madlad since 1993. Y'know how I write these things and listen to old hip-hop all day, right? Well, three years ago, I was a rapper and my music was going pretty well, to be honest. My name was Gloss and I could have been successful but... I don't know, my life was just going down and when I crashed rock bottom, I took the job. Don't know if I'll ever get out of this hiatus and go by Gloss again.

'' You need time. And that's okay, hyung.''

\- Yeah, maybe I'll become a stripper or whatever. I've been told I have great belly-dancing skills. Could get me money, but it wouldn't be the same, since I'm basically in love with music. Wish I could bring a keyboard up here. Kinda like you with your camera.

''Yeah, when I think about it, I'm pretty lucky. I've taken a lot of photos, they're all hooked in my tower. I'm really sad I couldn't continue my major in photography...''

\- Money problems or...?

''Yeah, mainly that. But, y'know, it's not so bad. I have to pay my debts and this job is a great opportunity to do so and get in touch with the nature. I've always liked the forest, but my family were townsman, I guess.''

I sight of relief. Talking to Taehyung is really therapeutic.

\- What are you gonna do after the summer? You're gonna need another job, right?

'' I don't know, you've talked about stripping and that sounds interesting. Could be the occassion to wear more dresses. I've always liked them but you know, gotta respect the society norms.''

\- Gendered clothes are bullshit and I encourage you to wear as much dresses as you would like,Tae! I'm sure you can pull it off really nicely...

Taehyung laugh.

''You don't even know what I look like, hyung.''

My breath catch in my throat and the alcohol in my blood is whispering to me to just be that kind of guy. The flirty one.

Sober Yoongi wouldn't like that...

-Tell me then.

I kinda groan the sentence, but I'm not sure if it was enough to hide the growl crawling in my throat. Maybe that Taehyung's breath caught in his throat too?

'' I... Well, I have brown hair? It starting to look like a mullet, but I like it. They're kinda messy, though. I'm pretty tall, too? Like five feet 8 or something. Dark skin and like... A lot of moles.''

\- What about your smile?

His smile is the thing I'm most curious about. In my head, I can picture him being this kind of brute beauty, au naturel sort of.

''It's pretty boxy. I don't like to be teased about it...''

I cooed in my head. Oh my, I'm being totally ridiculous.

\- Uh, sounds adorable. When I smile, everybody can see my gums and I used to not smile 'cause of that.

''What do you look like, hyung?''

I look up to look at the mirror in front of my bed. I look like a drunk guy man. A man who is drunk. A drunk who is fucking lonely and drinking a fucking Single Barrel bottle. My face is red and my eyes looks droppy and sleepy.

\- I'm pretty pale actually. The ''Invisible in the winter'' kinda pale. I'm average size, not as tall as you, but you know. I use to dye my hair a lot back in the day, but now I'm back to black hair and it's definetely for the better.

''Sounds like you're a cute one.''

I choke on chug of whiskey, but it's worth it.

[DAY34,170716, 05:14PM - KTH]  
I know shouldn't have went hiking today. I knew it and Yoongi told me to wait for a better weather before getting my stuff from the supply box. But did I freaking listen to him?

Noooooo, of course, me , Kim Taehyung didn't. Of course I didn't. I had to search for an excuse and go hiking in heavy rain and just freaking get my ankle twisted or some ish like that. What the heck.

What do you want? I was bored, I needed to get out the tower and I needed the perfect excuse to get out.

Why am I so stubborn and never listens?

I try to stand up, holding my body with the help of the nearest rock. I groan. The pain is effin real. I still try to walk a little, but the unstable soil and the weight of my body is too much for my ankle.

I take a few deep breath, my vocal chord making a few unwanted whine of pain. My right leg is stiff, swelling and already bruising.

Yup, it's probably sprained.

The rain becomes even more heavy and under my raincoat, I'm not so victorious. Everything seems to be so heavy, even the sounds around me. The wind is weak today, but the rain fall and pound over everything and it sounds like a thousand of steel nails dropping off a giant boz and falling everywhere on the ground. If I didn't have my watch, I could have not guess how many time passed since I fell down the trail... It'S been like... A whole 30 minutes, if you want to know.

Suddendly, the rain calms a little bit, dropping a little less aggressively and fog starts to rise up.

I frown.

Fog is no good.

Suddenly, I remember something that Yoongi told me on my first or second day here...

Call me if anything.

If something is ''anything'' that's probably call him about that. I mean, he drunk-called me like two weeks ago... I don't think he will mind if I call him for a minor accident like that uh?

I pick up my radio.

\- Hyung, just called to say that I twisted my right ankle or something like that while searching for my supplies and... Fuck, I mean, it really hurts a lot, hyung.

I bite my lips. I really hate to swear but the pain is so intense it brings me close to tears.

''What!? Where are you right now?''

I groan. Sounds like he's seriously concerned. As much as I liked it at first, I've grown to be careful not to worry Yoongi and not be a burden for him.

Freaking low self-esteem.

-Huh... A little off the trail to the supply drop, around Beartooth Point?

'' On a scale to 1 to 10, how would you evaluate the pain? Like, 10 is where we amputate your feet and 1 being you have only a bruise...''

\- Right now? Probably like a 5 or 6? I mean, I can't go back to my Tower right now, that's for sure.

There'S a small silence before Yoongi's voice sound truly worried.

''What the hell, Tae!? Just, stay rigt where the fuck you are, use your first aid kit or whatever... Well, I mean, if you have it... I'm coming to you, okay?!''

\- But... You can't go outside of your area, hyung...''

''It's not so far away from my sector, silly. Just gotta warn some people. It's raining, you're hurt and the closest ranger is like... Two days away! Just... Wait there, I'm coming!''

I nod and my eyes feel too heavy to just keep them open.

I wake up by the sound of a voice shouting my name and I instantly shout back.

-Hyung! I'm here!

I hear footstep tapping on the ground and then there's a figure in the soft fog and the face of Yoongi is in front of me.

He is... A little different from from what I expected. He is a little bit more intimidating than I expected, his eyes looks like the one of a hangry cat, but he looks kinda soft and adorable in a certain way?

I'm weird.

\- Fuck, Taehyung, you're okay?

I nod. The pain is still there. Yoongi chuckles, but it's a sad chuckle and I don't really like it.

\- I freaked out back in my tower when you called. I don't think I've ever hear you swear before...

\- I'm sorry, Yoogi-hyung. I wasn't careful enough...

I want to cry. Both of pain and shame. Oh man, I can't cry in front of Yoongi on our first meeting. That's a terrible idea.

\- Hey, hey, hey... It's okay! I got some cold compress and some gauze. Just keep your feet straight.

I laugh in a groan as Yoongi take my feet.

\- I'm not really good at being straight.

He chuckles and now it's not a sad one, so I'm pretty content with that. He sights.

\- My little brother, Jungkook, he had a car accident after one my concert. He can't walk anymore.

I look at him while he applies the cold compress. I hold a hiss between my teeth.

He looks tired and concerned.

\- He's stuck in an hospital and that's mainly why I'm on hiatus. He was the reason why I loved music and it hurted him... I just. Freaked out when you said you were hurt. Sorry about that.

I touch his hands, stopping his frantic movements.

\- Hey... It's okay, hyung.

He smiles at me, finally making proper eye-contact with me. I notice that he got a mole on his cheek. He blushes and looks away.

-Come on, let's get you back to your lookout, Tae.

I smile.

[DAY35,180716, 04:28AM - MYG]  
It's too early, but I can't sleep and I gotta go back to my tower. It was too late yesterday to go back, so Taehyung insisted that I stayed and cooked some things as an apology. I told him it was not necessary to apologize for that, but I was hungry and so was he.

It was way less awkward than I believed. To meet, to talk face to face, eat together and share the same bed... It was natural, almost. I don't know if it's because I've been going without human contact for too long or if it's just Taehyung. I don't really care too.

Taehyung's ''Single Spoon Shack'' is really cute and nice. Way more creative than my simplist ass. There's polaroid pictures hanging everywhere and I suspects that Taehyung has a lot more in photobooks. It also seems like he collected some plants while hiking and he managed to create some pot for them out of beer cans, plastic container and cardboard that he found in the woods. I also noticed that he keeps sticky notes on his desk and poetic thought are written on them.

Yesterday, I couldn't proceed how pretty he was. Even if he was soaked to the bone, clothed with a crappy raincoat and crying from a sprain ankle. He had this sort of energy that was weak and strong at the same time. Something bigger than himself. There, in the middle of the rocks, he looked like of spirit protecting the mountain.

Now, in the purple morning light, Taehyung is just beautiful in another way. His hair are messy and sticking around in odd place, his sun-kissed skin looks soft and warm and my heart jumps a little bit at the cute sight of him hugging a pillow.

My gay-self wish I could be the pillow.

I groan. Fucking hell, I'm whipped.

I put my coat on and grab my pack. I write a note for Taehyung to find and just before I leave, I see a picture hanging beside the door. It's a picture of Taehyung.

I take it and leave.

As I walk back to Thorofare, Taehyung calls me on the radio.

\- What's wrong, is your ankle okay?

''I... I can't sleep much because it stings, but... Imma be okay. I just... Wanted to thank you. You didn't really had to come all the way for me, but... You still did it.''

I smile softly to myself.

-It's alright, Tae. Just... Be careful from now on, yeah?

Once I'm back to my tower, I feel the urge to write so many songs about Taehyung.

And fuck, that's how I know I'm whipped.

[DAY57,090816, 10:20AM, MYG]  
''Hyung!Guess what I've found!''

-The Pork Pound sign?

''No, you silly! I've found some fieldmices! They're super duper cute and there's like... Four of them! They're just babies, how cute!''

I chuckle. Taehyung relly likes animal. Every day, it's like he found some kind of animals, or the animals finds him, and he gets so excited about it. The worst is that he names them.

Which is always cute.

-How are you gonna call them, this time?

''Hmm... I was thinking of Ddaeng, Seesaw, Agust and... Cypher!''

-That's really cute... How is your ankle?

Taehyung sights. I think he still feel sorry for getting hurt and making me concerned.

''It's fine, hyung, don't worry.''

Yes, even though Taehyung assured me two weeks ago that his ankle was better, I still felt the urge to ask him if he was okay. Especially when I knew he was gone hiking around Single Spoon. Today wasn't rainy, but it wasn't sunny either. It was as if storm clouds were covering the sky but were not ready to explode yet. Those type of day are the one where you can feel electricity in the air, somehow.

Another line calls me. It's another Lookout from Myne Wills sector.

''Hey, Min, I think I can see a column of thin smoke in your sector. Do you see it too? North-West of your Lookout I believe.''

I look. Yeah, it's definetly there. Either a campfire or a new fire.

-Yeah, I see it. Going to check that out, thanks Mr.Connor!

''Welcome, kid.''

-Hey,Taehyung, I gotta go out for checking some fire hazard. Imma have my radio on me.

''Okay, hyung! I'm going to go back to mine, anyway... Be careful!''

I smile. It's nice to have someone that cares for you.

\- Okay, love you...

Shit. Did I just fucking said what I said?

''Uh, hyung?''

-Yeah?

Shit, shit, shit. I did say what I fucking think I said. Why did I fucking did that?

''I love you too!''

I can feel the heat blowing on my entire face and I'm really happy no one can see me like that. I take my pack, put a hat on and go out of my tower, heading toward the column of smoke.

[DAY58,100816, 12:00PM - KTH]  
It's rainy. Again. I look at Yoongi's tower as I'm being(again) a melancholic little thing. Since I got the chance to meet Yoongi in person, I feel even more lonely than ever. It's like, before, I thought about meeting him, but it was some unnatainable goal, like a kid's fantasy. We both have work to do and the rules are the rules, you know and both of us couldn't break them that easily. But I was hurt, Yoongi was available and fate kinda forced our meeting to happen.

Standing in my station like that is weird. It's pouring outside and there's no way that a fire could survive this kind of condition in any way. So, our presence as fire watcher is pretty useless.

Yoongi voice comes out of the radio.

'' I can pratically feel you angsting about the rain from here, Tae.''

It's seems as if Yoongi wanted to say it in a bored tone, but I can still hear the amusement in his voice. He knows me pretty well by now.

-I swear, it was completely useless to get this job... It had been raining for like... Two weeks! We have as much chances to see a fire than to meet again...

''Wow, rain really puts you in a bad mood, huh? What's telling you we won't meet again?''

I pause. It sounds as if I hurted Yoongi by saying that. Which was not and will never be what I want.

\- I mean... Do you want to meet again? Last time, you were pretty much... I don't know, forced to come?

Yoongi seems to hesitate with that and it makes me anxious that maybe he wouldn't like to meet and I made this awkward. Or that maybe he's just being nice with an annoying lookout. Or that maybe...

''I would love that.''

Oh.

\- Well, I would love that too.

My voice sound like I'm smiling. Which is the case. I am smiling so freaking much that it kinda hurts my cheekbones, but I'm happy that Yoongi wants to meet me as much as I do.

''Hey, Tae... Can I ask you a personnal question?''

I hesitate, but I nod as I answer.

\- Yeah, go ahead.

''Why are you here? I mean, I'm probably seeing things too dramatically, but if you want to talk about it... It could help you or whatshit...''

I sight of relief. It's just that.

\- It's a long freaking story... Are you ready to listen to it?

''Yeah.''

-Okay, so, you already know about my crush on my best friend, Namjoon, right? We always had been the rascals of our hometown and were happy like that. At home, it was though for me, with my step-dad being an abusive asshole and all, so being with Namjoon was great. It made me forget about how lost I was, y'know?  
However, in the last year, Namjoon got in University, got with his girlfriend and... I don't know, became an adult? I was still that kid in his mind and he wasn't making me forget about things, he was constantly reminding me of how much my life sucked. Not that he wanted that. He's growing and I love that, but I needed him at the time and he just... Wasn't there in the way I needed.  
College sucked, home sucked and the time I spent with Namjoon and his girlfriend started to suck too. I was angry and wanted to yell my anger at the world, so I was shop-lifting, vandalising things and running from every responsability I had. Namjoon-hyung was always there to come pick me up at the police station and pay the fees.  
But somewhere in February, I came home to tell my mom I had dropped-out of college and he...

I take a deep breath. The memory is still fresh in my mind.

\- My step-dad, he was hitting her like never and... I didn't even thought about it. I just throw a bottle of his fucking beer at him, but he wouldn't stop. He was almost choking her to death at this point. I took a knife and stabbed him... Thrice.

There's a silence on the other line.

\- The trial was in May. Just before I took the job... He was charged guilty and condamned with 12 years of jail. I took the job to pay the lawyer and my college fees, but really I just jumped on the opportunity to run from an unrequited love, the dissapointment of my mom and the guilt of having stabbed a man.

It was silent for a good three minute after that. Maybe I scared him and that would be okay.

I cry.

-Sorry if I sound like a psycopath...

''Shit, Tae, no... I'm just so sorry to hear that... Look, you are still young, you step-dick was clearly an asshole and... What you did was okay! Maybe not ideal, but, your mother is fine, right?''

Now, my voice is clearly shaking with upcoming sobs.

\- I still stabbed a man...

Because that's the worst. To know that I've hit his level and used violence like he would have. I've never wanted to stop him in this way. Heck, I would have prefered to just report him sooner.

''A man who was abusing someone you loved. You are not some kind of dangerous psycho. You are like, as threathening as a hedgehog without spikes! You're a good guy, Taehyung-ah.''

I wipe my tears away with the sleeve of my sweater.

\- Thanks, Sugar.

''What?''

Frick, should I have said that or...?

-Yeah, Sugar. Because... y'know, you're as sweet as sugar?

''Oh, dude.''

Call me silly, but I can almost picture Yoongi blushing right now and it makes me feel better already.

\- What? Are you flustered?

''Shut up.''

I smile and... I just know I'm in love.

[DAY62,140816, 12:15PM - MYG]  
''Finally some effin' sun! Man, we had some nice weather for like... A three days, now? That's a effin' record!''

-Jeez, Tae, I never heard you swear like that. Is it the sun?

I joke, of course. I'm happy that the light is out again too. The air is refreshing and chill, after all that rain we had. I'm also happy that Taehyung is.

I remember our conversation we had four or five days ago. Talking about everything that happened to him before taking the job seems to have taken a burden off Taehyung's shoulders. He isn't really moody anymore when it's raining and he talks with me in a way that is more relaxed, somehow.

I've never had to deal with abusive family. Not with mine or my friend's or anyone. My parents were not often at home, because they were working so hard so we could get a proper education, but they never hit us or abusing us with harsh words. I never got to be afraid of my parents.

But Taehyung had, and it sucks.

I wish I could meet his step-father and just punch him in the face. It was untold, of course, but I'm pretty sure that if his mom was abused, Taehyung was too.

It would explain why he doesn't swear much, why he doesn't like alcohol and why he's scared of loud noises. Once, he called me in the middle of a thunder storm with some panick in his voice and I just knew that it was the thunder. The crack of sudden noise.

I've been writing so many songs and poems about Taehyung. At least, a couple dozens. I've had crushes before, of course, but this feels different. This feels like it could mean something and I love that.

'' Huh, Yoongi-hyung? I've... Seen a mama bear with her babies...''

\- Shit, are you okay?

'' Yeah, don't worry, I'm at Jonesy lake now and they are far away now, so I'm safe. I just thought you could warn the other rangers?''

\- Gotcha. Thanks Tae for reporting this. Bears are scary as fuck... Once I was a kid, like in 2004, a black bear was found unconscious in a campground in Seattle. The damn thing had broken into a cooler and used its claws and teeth to open dozens of beer cans. The weirdest about it, is that even if he sampled other types of beer, it chose to drink all the cans of only one type of beer.

I don't know why I'm even saying all that. I wouldn't share those random facts with other rangers or lookout. I guess I just really like to speak to Taehyung and that I know he will enjoy it as much as I do.

''So, that bear was passed out from a hangover?''

I can hear the smile in Taehyung's voice and it makes my heart flutter.

[DAY72,240816, 10:56PM - KTH]  
I'm out of my tower, my legs hanging in the void as I look at the burning fire in the distance. The fire is located in Wapiti Meadow and some guys are doing the controlled burn.

The air is thick, hot and heavy. I can barely take any breath of fresh air. I have been drinking, for the first time of my life. The cheap beers I've found at the beginning of the summer. It's doesn't taste so great but it's okay.

It tastes like liquid bread.

Whatever, the view is beautiful and I take a picture of it. I can see the open lights of Yoongi's tower, full moon and the crimson fire.

All beautiful things in the same frame.

-It's beautiful.

''Y'know, I could almost think you are enjoying the forest burning.''

I burst off laughing. Tonight, I feel good.

\- No, of course not! The part that is burning is where I found those fieldmices, but I just... I'm glad that we have something to work on.

''You hiked everywhere, huh?''

-Yeah... I would like to say I know Single Spoon like my own pocket... But...

''It's the forest and everything is always changing?''

-It's life, hyung.Time is just... Going and going. I've had this discussion with Namjoon once. He told me that this Aristotle dude once said that ''If past isn't anymore, the present is already done once it started and that the future isn't yet, how could there be a logic to time?''... I don't know, when you think about it, you can see the physical consequences of time but... We could just forget about it and everything would collides.

'' That's ... Interesting. Sorry, I'm a little bit drunk, so I don't really understand everything but... I like the time. The time I have left, I mean. I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world.''

-Yeah. Me too.

''We should name the fire. It's a tradition... I'll give you the honour, since you're so good at finding names.''

-Hmmm... Since they're between the two of us... What about Taegi?

''Taegi? They?''

\- Yeah, it's like... Our names smashed up together and... The fire is non-binary because who the eff genderize objects and things,anyway?

''Ooooh... Yeah. I like it. It's very... Us.''

I can feel the sweat on my neck and under my bang. Damn, I should have bring some scissors, my hair are so long right now.

\- I'm hot and dizzy... I shouldn't have even tried those beers.

''Would be the perfect timing to go skinny-dipping.''

-Sounds like a plan... The Ruby River is not so far from my Tower... Would be fun to have you.

There's a silence, but at this point, I don't really care. We both know there's something between us and are too scared to do something. Drunk Taehyung is braver.

''Tae...''

\- What?

''I... Fuck, yeah, I would like to be there too. Skinny-dipping in Ruby River.''

\- What else could we do?

''Well... Lemme tell you, Tae.''

[DAY73,250816, 6:03AM - MYG]  
I woke up with a headache. Not surprising, not with the drunk flirting I've donne yesterday with Taehyung. A part of me is screaming at me for what I said and another part is just utterly happy. At least, Tae seemed to enjoy it, even though he was drunk too.

I grab my beanie, my coat and put on my hiking shoes. I really need to go for a walk. Not too much. Just... Enough to get over this little hangover.

The air is cold and it clears out my lungs quickly as I walk up the North trail. I just need to think about all of this. My hiatus, Jungkook and... Taehyung.

Hiatus is a splendid word for ''Running away'' or ''Disappearing''. Because that's what I did, I let my career behing because I was scared. unhappy and broken. Instead of trying to fix things or makes them better, I threw them in a corner and never looked back. I should look back at those ugly issues and feelings and deal with them instead of being a coward.

Taehyung said something about the time, yesterday. A bit philosophical, but still, interesting and that hit home : ''We could just forget about it and everything would collides''. Of course, he was talking about the structure we gave to the time that passes. The second, minutes, hours, day and etc... But, I see it in another way. I take it as how I neglected my problems and made them worse. How I forgot that if times can help to heal, it can also hurt even more.

Everyone probably forgot about me. As Gloss. Which isn't a bad thing, but everything that ever came with it was... Incredible. And now I don't have it anymore. I miss collaborating with other artists, I miss writing lyrics that could help people and I miss touching a piano. I miss my music.

Jungkook was my music. With hi smile and his shy habits, he always knew how to push me to do better. My little brother paid the price for my music's love.

That night, we just had the craziest night ever. We were driving back to our hotel in a Uber and... It was the other's car fault. He was driving in the opposite way and our driver barely managed to avoid the vehicle and crashed on the side of the road. I was the luckiest out of the three in the car. Only a few stiches on my face was needed to put me back on. The driver had a few broken bones, but.... But, Jungkook, my little brother... He was in coma for like 4 years and when he woke up, he just couldn't use his legs anymore. His hipbones had been fractured and a few of his back vertebres were damaged. Jungkook was never mad at me for making it out better than him after the accident, but... I guess I was the angry one. At myself.

I should go back to the hospital. Apologize. Hug my brother. See how he is going. I mean, he sent me letters and left calls on my voicemail, but I should be the one that reach for him now.

Same for Taehyung. After the summer, even though I'm scared shitless, I should reach out for him before I lose that opportunity. The oppportunity to say Taehyung I really like him a lot and also the opportunity to see him again.

The view is amazing. An horizon of endless mountains, the sun rising above them and the nature slowly waking up. A strong and cold wind strikes my face, moving my bang away. I put my hands far away in my pocket and my fingers touch a little piece of paper.

It's the photo I took from Taehyung's tower. It's a portrait of him, bed-head and sleepy eyes in a blurry kind of sunlight.

Yeah, I definitely shouldn't miss that opportunity.

[DAY80,010916, 07:21AM - KTH]  
Yoongi told me this morning that the Taegi Fire is almost dead. He told me that the Shoshone's fire crew controlled the fire to 88% which means that it's now a baby fire and unless another fire starts or that the heat worsen, then, we won't have to deal with it.

That's why I'm a little pissed when seeing those same dudes as the beginning of the summer, trying to start a campfire. Are they stupid or what? We're in the middle of a freaking heat wave, fire danger is through the roof and in case people were too stupid to realize it, the rangers placarded fire signs everywhere on the site and it's color coded! Even a plain idiot could understand what it means and I am talking about the ''Teenager stupid'' kind of idiocy. Not the grown-up one.

I speak up.

\- Good morning, gentlemen, I'm Taehyung. I need to asks you to not starts any campfire.

There's only three of them now. I don't remember which one was there last time, but I clearly remember the on with the sicko cap. The weird one that touched me and called me ''Cute''.

One of them, who smells like gasoline, looks up at me and frowns.

\- Who are ya to tell us what to do?

I control myself to not roll my eyes. Of course, they don't recognize me. They're drunk : Again. That would be an awesome book's title, but I don't have time to think about that. I need to get the job done.

I straight up my back and look down on them.

\- I am a Shoshone's park lookout. Did you know that the park forbid any campfire or any kind of fire hazard that could threaten the forest?

The smaller one looks away as I stare at them accusingly. The two other takes a little bit more time to crack, but eventually, their posture shrink.

The smallest speaks.

\- Nah, we didn't know nothing. S'rry about that.

I nod.

\- Good then, but I would be confiscate your matches.

The buffest gives them to me in a reluctant grunt.

\- Hope I won't have to deal with you again.

The sicko cap's guy lean to take my wrist, but I avoid him and walk away. Confident and careful. As I hike back to my tower, I stop by the Medicine Wheel.

The U.S. Forest Service is the official owner of the site, but it works in close connection with Native American tribes to oversee it. At least, that's what I've been told.

It sure isn't as big and large as the one in Bighorn and maybe it's just my emotionnal and poetic self who is speaking, but the energy that is released from this place is incredible. It's as if years of prayers and ritual gave some kind of strenght to the soil itself.

I sit down beside the circle of rock, not daring to enter the place out of respect. A fresh breeze makes my skin shiver under my t-shirt. I take my Polaroid out of my backpack and take a photo of the clearing in front of me.

I've always dreamt of becoming a photographer. To share my vision with the world. Show everyone that there is beauty even in the darkest thing or strangest moments, a little bit like Baudelaire or Verlaine. Share my little piece of happiness in hopes it makes someone happy. When I dropped-out of college, I thought that everything was over. That I was resignated to work in an office or to become a beggar.

Maybe it isn't as impossible to realize my dream as I used to believe and when I think about it, this whole summer changed my perspective about life.

I don't think anymore that I am an horrible person for what I did to my step-father. I now believe that as much as it was a horrible choice to make, it was worth it. My mom is safe now and is not in danger anymore. I am not in danger anymore and I don't fear to come back home.

I don't think I will end up lonely forever. Sure thing, my relationship with Namjoon-hyung will not developped as I would have dreamed, but if I still reach out to him, we can still be best friends. We can still have our philosophical conversation on top of the roof, go to the beach for the 4th of July or just hang out at his place. Because, now, there's Yoongi.

Of course, things are unsure. We haven't talked about what happened a week ago. Of our drunken conversation and how we fully talked about what we wanted to do with the other. Some things were innocent, some things were not. Even if we stay completely platonic friends after this summer, it's fine.

I just need to acknowledge that I am loved in some kind of way and that things are going to be okay.

[DAY100,200916 , 12:00PM - MYG]  
\- It's our 100th days together, Tae! Just wanted to put some joy in your daily rainy day!

I'm staring at Taehyung's tower as I say it, a smile in my voice. The last days had been kind of stressful, the Taegi fire getting out of control for a day or two before the day completly helped the forester to control it. I had to deal with a lot of rangers and I couldn't talk to Tae as much as I would like.

But now that the rain was back, I could.

''Man, I hoped it could have just been sunny a little more... We're back to the rain now!''

I chuckle slightly as I hear the groan in Taehyung's voice.

-Hey, at least, we don't have to worry about Taegi or any of his friends anymore.

Another groan from Taehyung before I give up my teasing. There's a comfortable pause on the line and I imagine Taehyung reading a book... Or maybe arranging his pictures.

I should ask him he wants to move in with me, after the summer. I have been thinking about it since our drunk night, but never got the chance to talk about it to him.

I know he lives in California, that he has most of his friends and family there too, but... He told me about his drop-out and there's probably something between the two of us and... If he says no, it would be fine. I would understands and even if he says yes purely platonically, it would be okay, since I have a spare room anyway.

I just gotta go for it.

-Hey Tae... Uh, would you like to live with me after the summer? I have a spare room in my appartment in Seattle... And... I don't know, I just would really like to live with you.

As soon as I finished my sentence, I threw the walkie-talkie on the other side of the bed, waiting for a brutal rejection

''We could share a single room, though.''

That's what I.... What?

-Are you... Serious?

Taehyung giggles and my heart makes a serie of backflips.

''Yeah! I wouldn't mind living with you, after all, we cohabited together for a whole summer! And for sharing a room... I mean it. Because I'm not the only one seeing what we have, right?

I nod and then feel stupid, because Taehyung can't see me. I feel like floating so much right now, I can't even think straight.

Not like I'm really straight to begin with.

\- No, I see it too.

There's an awkward silence.

''So... Boyfriends?''

I goofily smile.

\- Yes, I would love that.

[DAY110, 300916, 04:15AM - KTH]  
I put all of my pictures in my notebook, along with some paper-pressed flowers I collectionned over the summer. I collected a lot of great memories and I am proud of them. I packed everything yesterday, just before sleeping, so I could go on that hike early and come back early.

It is pretty chilly, since it is the end of September, it's four in the morning and fall is coming soon. I put a woolen puncho on top of my flannel, put on some jeans and my hiking boots and I think everything is ready.

I only need to do one last thing.

\- Hey, boyfriend? You're awake?

I only need to wait a few seconds before Yoongi's groggy voice answers me.

'' G'morning, boyfriend... You going now?''

-Yeah, I just wanted to tell you I'm leaving my tower right now and uh... The hikes might take me less time on the way back but... So, we're gonna meet each other in the parking 2, still?

Yoongi shushes me sleepily.

''Tae, don't worry, I'm gonna wait for you... don't want to miss my first date with you.''

I smile.

\- It was a great summer, Thorofare. Sleep well.

''Thanks, have a nice walk, Single Spoon.''

**Author's Note:**

> So, there it is!
> 
> I plan on doing an epilogue part, so if you're curious, stay tuned!
> 
> I hope you had fun reading this mess of a fanfic, because I certainly had a lot of fun writing it ^-^
> 
> Thanks for reading, you are wonderful - ♥


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